Friday, August 30, 2013

My neighbor's house, like ours, has a really nice second-story porch.
My neighbor, unlike me, has a trumped.
I wouldn't say, "he plays the trumpet," but he definitely owns a trumpet.
He's utilizing1 said trumpet currently.



1. People often misuse "utilize" as a synonym for "use." However, utilize actually means using something for a purpose other than it's main purpose. e.g., I use a fork to eat; I utilize a fork to comb my hair. Don't say I never taught you anything.
Categories on Jeopardy that I would totally sweep:

  • Greek Mythology at the 5th grade level
  • Things your cat might say
  • Calories in...
  • Symptoms of diseases you are unlikely to have
  • F words.